Bohsia

2011-03-03T06:01:00.000-08:00

i'm bidding farewell to blogger, coz
HELLO TUMBLR! (please click) hehe.

2011-02-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

Aku sedih banget sih.
Aku nak nanges je boleh right?
shit, i feel like going back home, hide under my pillow to cry my heart out. idk whats wrong aku just feel sad. FML lah abeh.
i need Hany.

2011-01-30T02:14:00.000-08:00

GAJI DA MASUK BABY

2011-01-27T00:13:00.000-08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I WANNA GO HOME, bitch!

2011-01-26T23:15:00.003-08:00

MyHotComments

2011-01-26T23:11:00.000-08:00

MyHotComments

2011-01-25T04:53:00.000-08:00

This feeling sucks.
I need a time off alone, period.

2011-01-24T19:07:00.000-08:00

Sup?

2011-01-23T23:12:00.001-08:00

MyHotComments

2011-01-23T23:09:00.000-08:00

MyHotComments

2011-01-23T22:35:00.000-08:00

to think about it, i'm still young & you're there probably be searching for someone to settle in. I'm not that person for you. I'm really sorry, things are getting hard on me. not being in good terms with dad is not the way i would like to start my year. if you truly understand, you would understand and leave. Having to lose trust from someone who grew you up is much worst than losing our relationship. we're better off as friends and you can't deny that. though we've been together once doesn't mean we still have that chemistry going on right. honestly, i know we still have that awkward feelings for each other,i could sense k. i'm sorry if i had to crash your hopes and dreams.
i'm not returning back.

2011-01-16T02:28:00.000-08:00

This is what i will have to tell you if you knew the truth Ma.
Mama cakap jangan naik motor, jangan naik motor, aku degil
Mama cakap naik motor bahaya, naik motor bahaya, aku degil.
Skrg tangan aku rabak, pinggang aku bengkak, mama ingat aku jatoh dari bus.
padahal kena accident dekat expressway. aku rase mcm derhaka tak bilang dia the truth. what she heard from my mouth was justa pack of lies.
Ma i'm sorry if i had to lie. i know ma you dont like me naik motor, you kept me reminded about the dangers but i was just too oblivious about everything. inilah sebab ika tak dengar nasihat mama, Allah kasi ika balasan.
nasib ika baik ma, kalau kereta-kereta dekat belakang tak brake, maybe ika da hancor, ma. maybe ika da lenyek. maybe ika da rabak gila, & maybe ika da pergi.
tapi ma, Allah da bukakkan mata ika besar-besar, da kasi ika rase nyawa ika dekat hujung-hujung.
mami, i'm really sorry for not being a good girl:(

2011-01-13T05:51:00.000-08:00

loved it.
School's friggin' awesome now. made friends with classmates<3

2011-01-06T07:38:00.000-08:00

This was last month? god missed everything about the shoot sia. i wanna be 5 kg less so can join america's next top model pretty please.

2011-01-06T01:09:00.000-08:00

I hope everything's fine for you darl.

2011-01-03T06:56:00.000-08:00

i feel insecure sometimes. when girls my age are much smaller in sizes, when girls my age have pretty faces.. who am i kidding? i feel insecure all the time. & these insecurities made me hurt myself in a large extend that suddenly my mum starts to worry. before having heard of pills, aku muntah balik mcm shit la & once aku da ade gaji, beli slimming pills.
Hah, who do i have to kid? that goddamn son didn't work. so much for wanting to be 5 kg lesser? i'm a heartless slut, i know. org dekat Africa boleh menangis carik makan, aku dekat sini menangis makan terlalu byk.
but what to do? i'm insecure. i'll got all torn inside when them people wrongly guessed that i'm like 20++ when i'm like only a friggin 16 year old. mcm kat BBQ, ex manager phillipine perumpuan thought aku 26. heh babi peh phillipine. them sluts are insensitive cb(s). honestly aku benci k kalau perumpuan yg kurus "cry in agony" ckp dorang gemok, like wth bitches? if you gemok then what am i? horrendously enormous?
think about it.
starting school feels like sec 1, all back to square one.
Bitch.

2011-01-02T09:03:00.000-08:00

STARTING SCH ON THE 10TH BABY.
watch out ya.

plastic kape aku, inside i friggin scared walios byk2 eh, k bye, itu je.

2010-12-28T17:35:00.000-08:00

Im friggin proud to announce that i'm a KING in yo-yo baby! Been practicing till my arms' sore but it was friggin worth the hell coz i just loved it. Weeeets! K sudah cukop.
K ffk yesterday i saw someone i wanted very least to see. God.
Oh & yest i was supposed to work, tapi naik bus 856 je, siakk jek bau busuk bau nyonya- baru-balek-dari-pasar-beli-sayur kind of smell. nak muntah rabak sia & best thing was, the smell came from a nyonya who sat beside me. mintak ampun eh bau dia. Abeh lagi best, ade lagi bau factory bau minyak mcm tu. Siak rabak k, dkt Chong Pang sane aku turon nak carik asam2 tkde, tak larat nak keje kepale pon da berat loyar dekat tekak terus naik bus balek.
Nari plan nak paitaw keje lagii;D
Pergi kau mampos kat dorang yg kene keje rabak niari sebab pasal ketiadaan aku. Hahahahahahaha! Let them fuckers rot there. God i cant explain just how much i despise them. Fair play pe bila aku keje dorang pemalas nak mampos. Skrg hah amek kau!

k bye tgn da lenguh rabak nak makan ni.
Kk MORNNNNNINGG bitchhhees.

2010-12-18T05:17:00.000-08:00

So the only choice i have now is to repeat sec 4 or ITE.
Obviously i'll be opting for the second choice right i mean after much consideration i want something new.
New school new friends. perhaps new love?

Coz i don't feel there's firework anymore. ugh i'm an idiot i should have known that this fade thing would happen. first there'll be cries for letting go then the misses then the patch-up then the love then the love-starts-to-fade then the feeling-nak-break up.
damn it feels like hell yaw coz the cycle keeps repeating.
maybe the mistake was and still is, that we don't talk about the problems we are facing. i mean, correction, I'VE TRIED TO TALK, but he would always and i stress always, keep the distance after aku sound about things then there'll be the usual face-tak-pleasant then end up kita gadoh.
ITS FRIGGIN HARD I TELL YA.
should i let go? let's face it ka, it's not that we're gonna have a future right? i mean mael should know that we will be outgrown of each other. i mean it's not like it's not gonna happen though how much we talk about stuffs like marriages right? wait maybe that's it, mael don't treat me too seriously coz he knows that we'll not be sharing a future together? k does that even makes sense? white horse by swift really tells it all. ugh ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffk.
seriously i can't do this? i'm really weak coz everything about it is killing me!
the more i think about it the more i'm believing the fact that we've got nothing in common anymore. shucks oh hell i dont think we have things in common in the beginning:/ SEE THE PHOTO ALSO SHOWS THAT WE AIN'T GOT NO CHEMISTRY ANYMORE and it's making me useless eh. k bye uh benci uh.

2010-12-09T07:08:00.000-08:00

I love everything about us baby.

2010-11-29T03:37:00.000-08:00

CALLING TO ALL CHINESE,
IF YOU'RE STUCK UP & THINK YOU'RE ALL THAT,
GO & DIE bitch.
GO HOME & SUCK DICKS hoes.

Brainless idiotic fucks.

2010-11-24T19:47:00.000-08:00

"There comes a time in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, & who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past, because there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."

Omg i so feel you la statement!

Yesterday was fuhnkin' awesome! Iqram will be uploading & tagging the pictures next week & i soooo cannot wait to see the photos!

I guess we're meant for each other love. I don't mind fighting, because like Facebook says, couple who fights the most are the ones who are really in love most.
No doubt baby!

Why would i ever be thinking of leaving you?

2010-11-22T01:10:00.000-08:00

I really hope i'll be getting my pay soon & pretty much don't mind if it's cut a little bit if it's due of my absence.*fingers cross*
i'll be giving a 1/4 of it to parents, & the rest of it, kita enjoy like there's no tomorrow mcm Waking up in Las Vegas!
Macam gaji aku beribuan dollar ya? haha. aku rase tak jejak pon $200 lebih:/
tapi takpe, as long as i could feel the taste of the days when i've got my ass worked out like pig & the days i've to travel back & forth to Clarke Quay, that's enough.
Today had my training at Guardian with the guidance of Aslindah. I found it very susah to faham the stuffs she taught me, at last gang buat packing barang jah. haha.
after work which both of use ended at 4, she treated me watch Harry Potter, & gladly i would say, i didn't sleep half way through like i did when we watched the previous Harry Potter:/
cos it was ohsoahmazing & betul betul punya intriguing.
esok would be exciting cos i'll be helping Iqram with his photoshoot with Dian i think. GOD I CAN'T WAIT!

2010-11-21T03:24:00.000-08:00

Just got back from jemoutan & i feel so gemuk already, but thanks to my usual routine, i think im alright. leaving without phone is so so so so the meaningless. phone aku ngade ngade k, kena jatuh dekat air sikit nak mati. tempeleng kang.
N level results would be like out in few week times, gosh just as how mush as i want to see how i score, there's always something that's stopping me:/ i wish that the world pauses for awhile so i could have the time to breathe & really think through what i want to do in life. at this point of time, i ain't got a single clue what i really wanna be in the coming future. with the growing competition and shitsz, with empty plans & hopes, i'm falling.
i hope i could at least have decent grades so i could have better opportunities in ITE. & then everybody goes, "jangan masok ITE" or things like "you malas or what cuma nak blajar sampai sec 4?"
but mama said to me when her friends were discussing about me wanting to be a chef just now, "apa-apa sekolah ika choose, make sure buat betul-betul."
Insyaallah.
k babai.

2010-11-19T06:54:00.000-08:00

i listen to songs that remind me of you & i don't mind having to cry a little cos you worth every of my heart aches. i'm stressing that i couldn't let go, despite being the one who asked for all of this to happen. call me stupid & silly cos i'm the one to blame. i didn't expect that not having you here left such a huge impact. it controls my emotions & i hate it that i couldn't do anything. babe you know you've been the best & you do know that i don't wanna lose you kan. i was just mad & angry that you didn't hold on. i'm just mad & angry that we're always fighting back then. if i knew that there wasn't anymore chances, i could have at least let them arguments slide. i could have just forgive & forget. we've been always fixing hearts when we went wrong, but not now. i took advantage of your patience. i thought we're kissing back. i thought.
just to think of our past plans & wishes, ugh they're killing me!

2010-11-19T01:14:00.000-08:00

why do i mourn now when it's over? why did i even think of leaving you? why now when you're gone i grief for what i thought the second part of my life? fuck everything:/
even if i try, you're not coming back cos you're not interested in mending things back after i've destroyed everything.
and to think back, i'm just selfish not listening to you.

2010-11-14T05:58:00.000-08:00

i've been thinking thinking. thinking if it's the best for us or if i was just being selfish.
if it was really love, why didn't you hold your words strong? i needed you to be my strength so that i could still have faith in everything. but your movements were a disappointment. i needed you to assure me when times fail us, i needed you to be the shield of my fears. but you didn't.
you've stopped being the lover i've wanted you to be. you've stopped loving me the way i wanted it to be. you've stopped doing things that proved your love for me & immediately i could sense that we were walking in circles all over again not stopping. you didn't say anything, not even a word. you pretended we were okay. why did you? it's unfair to me cause i know that you know that we've got nothing to share but you kept me guessing. until now i dont understand if the smallest things could be the fire that causes heart breaks.
of course i've been missing you, but i don't know, i just don't love you like i've did before. i'm sorry if i came to the decision that led us to separation.
I know you'll find someone much better, one who isn't a plus-sized and smokes. Take care,

2010-11-08T07:54:00.000-08:00

Should i be the good guy & resign accordingly to the book or should i be the slut & MIA till got sack? Aku malas nak keja dekat FNB lagi. Salah ke nak try out keja keja time holiday aku? Sticking to one limits my knowledge & experience whatttt.
aku paitaw keja semalam and harini, bestnya taking risks! At least aku spend quality time dgn family & loved ones, not keluar & merayap. omg how i wish any of the manager reads my blog & understands how i feel:(
tmrw i shall paitaw again but be searching for new jobs & trying my luck.

selalu aku give give give dgn kau, bila aku nak take pulak? amboi kau ingat aku tkde perasaan kah? otak kau la. K bye.

2010-11-06T03:35:00.000-07:00

Harini off like bukan off sia. i just got home from Cwp with Mael, Hany & Husayn. Only that the boys have to leave for work & that pretty much sucks to the core. This week i've been working with only a day off, esok kerja lagi. Aduh, penatnya. Tapi nasib habis pukol 4 sia esok, shall laugh my ass out to dorang yang kena spilt shift. I enjoyed today though, cause spent time with Hany outside. Selalu kita spend time dekat rumah with she experimenting my hair with all sorts of fish tail.

YAY later hanging out with Faris and all! Except for andre who's out with the gf. God, da lame tak nampak An im so going to tease him and make me ride his motor. *evil grin*
Oh ya yknow what? that day when waiting for train at wdl station, there was this ITE guy who suddenly out of the blue kept looking at me. Hmm sejap eh, im not sure it he was looking at me or dekat just my direction, i thought i rase flattered skejap, skejap je ah. Then bila train sampai, he stood opposite of me while i was sitting down on the reserved seat. Sekali yknow when you look straight kan you still could see at the sebelah hujung of your eyes kan? ya i was on that state which i found out he was stealing glancing on me, i know it was stealing because when i really looked at him, he looked away. Bleaghhh. Malu ya? hahahahaha, tapi dia average looking. Then i senyum2 sendiri konon rase best ada eye-candy kat dalam train, at least i wont get bored cause i've got that feeling of adrenaline rushing when he was there. abeh after the first few looking, our eyes mcm met gitu, so perfectly. there was something about those eyes, macam familiar. dia memang tak handsome sangat, okayokay handsome, but he was freakishly tall, and there's like something about him that attracted me. I think he smiled at me, i think. Then he alighted at Bishan:( My little heart broke skejap. Menyesal seh tak pay attention on him kat wdl station, i thought he was some weird freak at first.

mael wants to do dreadlock this month & i think he's going to look sexy with his clothes off & me pulling his hair when we're......
k bye.

2010-10-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

Today tired like fuck. cb i kena teased & was on the edge of crying like shiyatte siak. aku tahu aku budak baru, but the orang are giving me a hard time although they were just playing. sakit hati! benci benci. luckily mata aku tak betray aku, they stopped the tears from flowing, kalau aku really cry nanti kena kacau lagi. ish benci seh.
eh guess what eh? semalam kena complain from a chinese customer. Kncb. She told XiaoYan i was kinda rude & wasn't pleased serving them. What do you expect? Restaurant full house, abeh tak sabar2 nak ice-cream. abeh dia kate lagi "Might as well she don't talk if she's not happy!" then dia pun cakap they won't be returning. SO WHAT? fucking demanding sia these arrogant office filthy bitches. tak sabar sgt pergi dine tempat lain la. cbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbcbcb!
seriously that sorta customers would be the death of me.
ugh.
k screw that. i think i'll be wearing a size L anytime soon. Everyday there curik2 makan ice-cream. mcm babi sia.
YAY ESOK OFF!
Cb uh Mael esok da start keja:(
Cb uh phone line kena potong.
Cb uh gaji next month.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
ME ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-26T18:59:00.000-07:00

Okay i was wrong the other day. I should have known, i couldn't face life without Mael.Wait, that sounds kinda cliche' eh.
With him around, life is meaningful. That's more like it.

Work has been tiring, and on the note of it, i have to get ready by 10.30!
I've got like 15 more minutes?
Me sad because..................................................................................................

me dont likey go work far far faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar. Everyday listen the 3 songs that keep repeating. K shh.
Yesterday i bad i was selfish i never give my seat to this indian family. Hahahah! Eh i working k, i think i should wrap a banner around myslef that says. "I DONT LIKE YOU SO I DONT GIVE YOU MY SEAT!?"
siak siak how merepek can i be.

I dont mind having few friends knowing these are the best i could trust:)
Goodluck & take care ya? Hahah.

2010-10-11T06:38:00.000-07:00

Now it's all about ME, MYSELF & I.
Note that you're not in the picture, so pack & run along.

2010-10-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

Once again, ma showed me what true friend was.
a true friend who would always be there to support & care,
who would always accept me for just the way i am,
a true friend who would always never give up on me.
once, i disagree to that saying that a mother could be a friend to her daughter,
but damn, how i've wished that i've realised that im wrong long time ago.
Now, ma's not only a friend, she's a bestfriend
sent specially for me, from the heaven.

Because there's been like numerous times i've been betraying her trust & spitting on her face countless & always ended up defiant, ma still picks me up & fix me back.

Dulu, when i was much much younger, she'll always ask me,
"ika love mama sampai mane?"
& my reply will always be,
"sampai moon."
want to be always in her arms:(

2010-09-27T22:28:00.000-07:00

School sudah tutup, but exams are next week, and after that, SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE IS OFFICIALLY OVER!
Brillianto! Should i start seacrhing for part-time jobs? Should i? should i? should iiiiiiiiiiiiii? EH IRRITATING, aku belum habis exams da excited nak carik keje. Ntah pass N ke tidak. Kalau da habis, aku nak work at this outlets...............

1)BEBE for it's hottielicious & exquisite fashion spread
2)Famous Amos for it's delicacy of the cookies
3)Watson for if i could get the discounts off for my cosmetics
4)John Little for if i could get the discounts off for my cosmetics C;
5)Gelare' for all the hot waffles i could get
6)Pastamania to feed my cravings
7)Diva - for the gorgeous oh-dayumm accessories
8)Any retail outlets lah : /

Obviously aku tak boleh work dekat option no. 1 kan!!!
Watson boleh tak aku rase? Hmmmmm. i dont think so eh. Tkkan nak kerje dekat "Welcome to Cotton On!" ? But what i heard is the pay is quite high.
OH I KNOW MANE NAK KEJE! SEE NO.7!
k i am just merepek like fucking hell.
k ho i need to start siap now sebab Isma (L) is meeting me at 3. Dia dgn johor dia, aduii.
kkkkkkk bye.

2010-09-25T07:22:00.000-07:00

Grr, tadi da post panjang2 abih html error then lost most of my post content! Cb now no mood to re-post.

& that's hard when you really have loved that person deep down your heart:(

2010-09-20T04:09:00.000-07:00

MyHotComments

2010-09-17T06:44:00.000-07:00

everytime i talk about it, it will definitely send tears to my eyes. i feel so low. everytime aku nak try to pick up pieces, i'll stop because i know it won't worth a thing.
aku stuck between mum & him. aku maseh sayang dia, tapi aku kene fikirkan pasal hati & perasaan mama. aku tanak jadi anak derhaka lagi, tapi hati aku sakit. am i sacrificing for the better? it will be obviously to mama, but how about me? Me? don't i have rights over my life? aku rase diri aku kene tarik2. aku nak jage hati mama, tapi how about mine?
NO NO NO. aku nak tebus segale dosa-dosa aku da buat dkt mama. tak ade lelaki kat hidup, tak mati kan?
so i guess it's okay if i listen to what mum says.
after all, syurga di tapak kaki ibu, kan?
:'(

2010-09-16T06:17:00.000-07:00

Oh Allah,

Forgive my mishaps & wrongdoings, my sins & mistakes. For all of my years living, i've been turning my back against You and i've been disobeying my parents. I've been neglecting Islam and i'm fully aware the consequences that i'll be facing during hari kiamat.
But, i beg of You, please give an opportunity for this self to change for good. I've had enough repeating sins over & over again, and i'm done being such a shameless Muslimah.
Oh Allah,
Mama & papa telah membesarkanku dan telah banyak berkorban masa dan hidup demiku. Cume aku yang lalai akan kewajibanku, cume aku yang buta dengan agamaku. Janganlah Kau meletakkan segala dosa yang telah aku lakukan di atas pikulan mereka. Aku tak mahu mereka disiksa di api neraka dan dijauhkan dari syurga. Biarlah aku yang menanggung dosa-dosaku sendiri. Mama & papa tidak layak untuk melalui siksaan syaitan kernaku.

Amin.

This broke up between that guy & me really mean alot to me. Mama telah membukakan mate aku. Aku promise aku tanak disappoint mama lagi. Aku tanak conteng arang dkt muka mama & papa lagi. Cukuplah dgn ape yang aku banyak buat mama nangis & sedih, cukuplah aku buat mama susah hati & kecewe dgn aku. Aku tk sanggup mama & papa meninggal dunia dgn keadaan makan hati dgn prangai kite sebagai anak-anak yg tak fikirkan perasaan mereke. I regret not listening to their hearts. I regret not loving and cherishing their being as till now. I regret not being a filial daughter.

Aku da tanak sebut-sebut lagi name dia. Kerane dia, mama da tak treat aku sgt mcm how she've used to. Kerane dia, mama da tanak percaye aku lagi, & kerane dia, aku rase diri aku ni, tkde harge diri langsong.
Thanks eh kau punye stain, it keeps reminding me that i'm a ho.

k bye.

2010-09-07T07:36:00.000-07:00

I miss being with Andre, Faris, Abai, Amer & An. I've missed the laughter, those annoying orange jokes, those piggy back rides, those typical lepak-pit-and-smoke-but-having-a-great-time, times when we could just sit and laugh, times when korang stand up for me. Seriously, i feel jealous that yknow, i see you guys here & there but korang da hang out with org lain. When cigarettes were meant to share, when the most small amount of money is counted time nak share beli air. Times when we hang out at Andre's place and watching the guys playing Guitar Hero, times when we could sit for hours and the guys' just talk about games games games. Times when we treated each other like girls and asked for girly opinions, i mean like, WHO CAN REALLY DO THAT?
Now, semue just memories huh?
Personally, it's heartbreaking.

2010-09-02T06:44:00.000-07:00

Theres the photos untok Teacher's Day.
K bye, aku nak makan lagi lah sey.

2010-08-30T22:52:00.000-07:00

Teacher's day was awesome! Especially i love the part when we as a class gathered in the class and presented our Mummy her gifts for her coming-soon baby, Eshan:DD She wanted to cry but she used puasa as an alasan not to cry in front of us. Performances were obviously not exciting, like i was expecting. Maria and i went up on stage to give a giggly speech. Sorry, kite tk "step gerek" k! We're showing our appreciation to our beloved teachers yang treat kite bagaikan minyak ditatang penuh. Bukan macam students suke kutok-kutok just because we went up on stage, that is like stupid and fuckingly irrational-.- Ooooohh, lagu raya buat aku HIGH! Tonight mama aku and kasya akan go geylang and get the girl's Abbaya! Wee i like! Ugh but i do not like going to the bazaar, okay wait, i dont like going bazaars. Because, once i stepped out from the stuffy place, my face'd get oily and ugh, the frying bau of wadeh-wadeh will stick on my baju mcm cb. Raya next friday weee! Time dulu right, zaman maseh primary school & zaman cousin-cousin lain masey anak abu, first week of raya, Buk and bawah her generation, which obviously mama & her 10 adik beradik plus anak-anak akan naik paman alang's lorry which kite cucu-cucu & left over makcik & pakcik yg belom kawin conquer and parents laen semue naek vehicle laen2. aku cakap gerek la weii, cume cucu2 yg "besar" & "cool" (TAK TERMASOK AKU SEBAB AKU MASEY KECIK) duduk kat tempat blakang nye lorry, konon nan wave2 kat "lauk-lauk" yg pass by kat espressway. Hahah! Abeh kan kite semue akan shout SELAMAT HARI RAYA kat orang2 yang pakai baju melayu best kan! then bile sampai rumah sedare-sedare laen orang mcm trepanjat sebab family kite terlalu besar. abeh kan first raya, typical gile lah sia, lepas g rumah nenek kat woodlands, family aku patah balek marsling balik rumah Buk which semue adik beradik mama gather then lepak2 kat sane datu dorang semue patah balek rumah aku tgk DVD ke pe bey makan and gelak ketawe then g rumah paman uda kat admiralty then g rumah paman lang then g ruma Cik jun then g rumah biksu. aku tell you 6 rumah je will always take us the whole day & night. Kecoh lah sia, yg mama akan penuh with stories nak bilang her sisters yg the men talk about onlyGodknows. Sighsssssssssssssssssssssss, best times best times
k bye!

eh no. havent yet finish.
today mael pindah jb.
ugh, fuck lah:(
everything's not exactly as the way i wanted it to be!
:(

2010-08-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

Today, gadoh lagi dengan mael. gadoh gadoh gadoh, bile nak game ey?

2010-08-24T02:11:00.001-07:00

Today fought with mael and me no likey. punched him on the chest, he don't like he maki me:'( Ugh!
he promised me to teman me to go for hair trimming but he never call:(

tadi didnt sahor and during recess i called mama if can makan if never bangon sahor tk and she answered must puasa no matter what : (
then during SS Dian, Adda & me were practically shireking about our favourite food. Slurrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppppp, im feeling KL's chendol down my thoat man. Just now almost nak singgah kedai beli iced milo sia! But aku tahan iman dok. So yeah, lagi 1 & 1/2 jam je, i can do it!
Tadi before SS Min and i went to school library and searched for books tao. Then we came across recipes, and i took few books. Guess what? Aku koyak pages untok yummehhh recipes like lasagne, laksa ............. Fuhh! My dream of being a chef tk jaoh lah sirooot!
It was f-ing hilarious sia cause i kept tearing recipes for myself-.-!
K bye!

Overall, i :/ today.

2010-08-22T07:15:00.000-07:00

WHY SEMUE ORG KAT FB ARE AGAINST HAITI?
TELL ME AKU PON NAK TAHU!!!!

2010-08-20T00:16:00.000-07:00

Love Mael!

2010-08-19T00:02:00.000-07:00

Okay aku and Mael boyfriend girlfriend on 15th Aug:)
K bye!

2010-08-14T23:44:00.000-07:00

For weeks i couldn't wait for my birthday to arrive. B'cos Mael and i have been planning to break fast together with Hany & Husayn as they're celebrating their one year anniversary. On the 13th August, went out with Hany to Causeway Point to get new cosmetics specially for my birthday, and for Mael.
Minutes to 14th August i kept awake, being anticipated receiving texts from deary friends. I slept the night enthusiastically.
Woke up early to talk to kakak about the evening's plan because she wanted to join us too. She left for work and i was ready to sleep in some more, kononnye nak have a plenty of rest lah kan. Then about 15 minutes after Kakak kluar, i've got a call from her.
"Ka, mane mama? Eh bilang mama paman long tadi meniggal,".

Okay, so this is the part that i've been asking myself, Not that i'm blaming Tuhan or what, but why does it have to be on my birthday, or days before my birthday my family member must go ey? Last year, 3 days before my b'day, Atok passed away. Semalam ON my b'day, Paman Long, mama eldest brother passed away.

Yes so family members are important right? I gave in and texted Mael that we might change plans. Then when i really thought about it, tkkan spend the whole of my BIRTHDAY at Clementi right. So i told him again, dont change plans because i have the feeling it's going to be okay and that aku boleh keluar.

I fought with Mael & Hany. I was selfish, i was self- centred. I didn't care less about their feelings. I cried so bad and knew it wasn't a sweet sixteen after all, with an uncle died on my birthday (this shows that im like a jinx) and the so-called perfect plan being screwed up like tangling wires.

Min brought me out with a couple of friends. Though the night wasn't exactly i wanted it to go, i've got to thank min for the night. It's nice spending time with someone for what seems years tk hang out with without Mael :P
Thank you so much Baby C;

Yay! Mael just replied that we're going to go out today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! K bye!

2010-08-08T05:26:00.000-07:00

Shut up k.

Omg i think im addicted to spice especially foods like chilli padi, fuhh, itu kalau masak maggi curry aku bubuh 5 chili padi cut in small pieces, saaaaaap, the outcome, only yg boleh tahan pedas makan. Oh wait, apa itu pedas?
Anyway, Umii ordered food from Admiralty and i kept eating and eating sebab ianya terlalu sedap and aku nye first time makan acar. Very sweet yet sour yet crunchy yet soft.
k bogging is boring, bye.

2010-08-01T06:34:00.000-07:00

I can't believe life without You,

Got back from Woodlands Point with Cheeky, saw a couple of friends.
Did stuffs like homework and makan makan makan. Tadi makan fishball noodle dry tk sedap sey tk sesedap fishball noodle with soup wtf eh. My Cine girl Ahlian sempat tegur bila makan. Hahaha. Then then then when kite tgh makan ade this group of young adults yang berumur twenties yang dressing sungguh irritating which aku nan Cheeky concluded dorang dari mlysia. Too much influence from the barat i bet. terok seh bangse the girl pki floating cap with long skull stockings yg colour2 wth eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Mr Wong kasi Math paper susah sia nak buat tadi aku give up. Esok is Malay N level nye oral, okaaay confirm susa ey.
Guees what? Ma read my diary : /
So like skrang dia da tahu pasal my biggest secret ever siak. Like fucking nye biggest, most secluded secret ever. Sent me those typical long messages and Cheeky die2 doesnt want Ma to know it was him coz he said " kalau mak kau tahu nanti dier suro kau tglkan aku". Sweet aye pade aku. Then kite ade siket hughughughug then he kept repeating "i love you so much".
:DDDDDDDD
OMG ! i cant wait for this Wednesday, be skipping sch and teman Min go hspital with Mel. Hehehehehehehe! L-l-l-l-ladies day out. I loike.
k bye.

2010-07-30T01:31:00.000-07:00

I love Cheeky! Alot alot alot!
Tadi had Lamb Chop, but the sauce is salty, not as tasty as what it should be. Petang be visiting Nenek kat Khoo Teck Puat. Irritating eh name hosp dier?
*momets later*
aduhh, mkn lagi. mcm nak muntah balek je, tapi malas liao nak go toilet:/

2010-07-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that Im enjoying Maths lesson, omg sangat lah kan. Spent the afternoon doing homework with Cheeky and Mel. Aww im so proud i did all of my homework, F&N, math, geog! Weets, Mrs tan confirm suke aku punye abeskan her Rivers worksheet!
Sadly, my classmate, Yuwee is quitting school soon sia. Bodo dier tanak amek N level. Daging sia dier, kalau dier tkde, siape lagi aku nak laugh at? Aduii. Tapi kesian pulak lah kan slalu kene bully cause he legong+fun sized+irritating. He's going to be the most memorable bangse bile da besar flash back pasal secondary life, confirm ketawe2 sendiri sampai air mata jatuh. Hahah!
Yesterday Min, Mel, Mael, An and me lepak and spent most of the time laughing about Yuwee sia. Fuck An uh, kenekan dier rabak2 smpi aku ketawe perotku sakit. Keoch sey lagi2 An, dier peh gurauan aduii, so the selambe yet fucking hilarious.
My mum is so cute she wanted this Beyonce song which we've heard from the tv, and asked me to find it for her by reminding me with a text ,"Ika, lagu dia mcm nanana.. jutt(3X) nanana jutt(3X)"! she've made my day for her cuteyness. Soooo, tadi i checked out uh, browsed through her B'day songs, then i found out it was Deja Vu. Mesti mama happy and keep singing to herself! I like mama cute.
Can't wait to go school tomorrow aye. Maths is the most goddamn funfunfun lesson ever, Mr Wong is the fatherly cute cuddly adorable type when he perspires, he does his usual motion. Hehe!
K goodnight aku nak tido and dream about Cheeky lagi. semalam mimpi no good, Cheeky flirtyflirty with girls laen.
Dear Dream-Makers,
make sure tonight you kasi mimpi i bagus punye k? C;
Thank you very much!

2010-07-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

Whatever happens, i would hate to fail a friendship with any of you. You you you you you! Yes, i admit, im spending each of my time with Mael now, but i'm trying my very best to balance everything too. Friendships are never meant to be broken, in my theory. So, kalau aku yang salah selalu, aku minta maaf. Aku tak bermaksod nak neglect kan korang, or even make you guys feel like a "tiang lampu" whenever Mael is with me. Tapi ade ke aku berterusan tak berbual dengan korang? Even if i've tried, you would let me down. Aku minta korang punye understanding, blessings and be happy for me. Yes i know it's hard to be happy for others when you yourself sendiri tk satisfied with yourself. That, i'm sorry. I couldn't help much, i could only pray for korang nye bahagia. Guess what? Aku skrg da start sembahyang, and aku slalu include korang in my prayers, fyi. You you you, yes the five of you kalau korang tahu siape diri kamu yang aku slalu rapat with. Aku tahu, sepanjang aku dengan Mael, aku da banyak buat salah. Yang paitaw kau laen, yang buat kau slalu kene feel left out laen. Haiz. Forgive my mistakes. Not that aku nye intention nak buat semue mcm gini sey. I know, lama-kelamaan korang pon da naik binget dengan aku. But try to be in my shoes also can? Aku heartbroken sey when aku dapat tahu korang mcm fikir aku prangai nak berkepit dengan Mael je sey. My bad lah, aku salah, tapi kalau constantly aku siket2 mcm kene tegur because of this small issue, mcm tk masok akal ey. Mcm it feels like aku yang kene jage hati orang laen, tapi hati aku mcm rase the other wise.
Aku sayang, love you guys sincerely. Once again, tak pernah terlintas hati aku nak memperabaikan korang. Thank you for your kind understanding.
Love,
Pisang / Monyet / Mak ape-ntah / Chi

2010-07-13T04:45:00.000-07:00

Omg, i miss Ciki : C

2010-07-12T04:58:00.000-07:00

That was on Saturday when Mael, me and LucYanto went for a

picnic at Sembawang Park. Obviously aku nan Mael had fun

mcm fun fun fun fun!

Mael is fucking sweet lah k mcm nak..

Hehs!

Next day pulak was Kasya's small birthday celebration. And again, Mael and Min

attended, of all temanteman aku ajak. :p

Mama cooked fattening foods which were meant for anorexic nervosa patients. Betol

punye menggemukkan seh. Tapi tkpe, aku makan mcm nobody's business. My

Baby(s) arrived later in the evening.

Mama said something which i found it very hurtful. I kept repeating the whole

scene when she confronted me and it saddened me that i cried in a mist of

laughing and hyper babies. Mama and Papa should support me and befriend

with the guy i really like, kan? Isn't that what parents should do? And not

object my decisions? Kalau aku bawak balik matrep mane, aku faham uh kalau

dorang nak disapprove tapi ini Mael sia! I was really crossed when Mama acted

like that. It was very inhuman of her. I know im rude by posting this but aku

nak Mama and Papa understanding and blessings:(

Lepas dorang makan lek2 jap, then like an hour or two, they left my house and we

lepak at daerah rumah Min. Mael and i had a small tiff, aku terlalu carried away with

Mama's kata-kata sampai lepaskan kat dia. But it ended when he wrapped his arm

around me. He made my night. He eased my pain away.

I thank you, Allah, for giving such a wonderful companion like him,

2010-07-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

Last night aku tk boleh tertidur-tidur seh. Asyek terpiker-piker pasal this Saturday je. Yelaaaa, tk sabar nak ade last part with Ciki Miki uh kan. Hehs~!
The reason why aku tk datang for school today is bangun lambat. Sebab aku tk boleh tidur lah. Adui. Missed classmates:(
Semalam school ended at 6 because we had Physics at the end of the day. As usual, went back with Min and Mael. Bid goodbye to her and off we went back home together. Mael and i lit our cigarette, nak step kaysiow uh kirekan. HAH! Isap peh isap, Mael pon da sampai bloknye, tinggal aku and my cigarette. Beh kat depan ade siket mat-motor yang tk sebeberape handsomenye, so i was like bapak-aku-peh-road aku nak sedap-sedap isap.
LEPAS ITU, aku dengar ade orang panggil aku from the back. I turned, and saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap,
it was an effing police officer. Wtf rabakzz eii? I was holding a stick with me wearing my school uniform, with mat-motors now looking and laughing at me. Dayumm! It was as if aku nye skirt was pulled down in public. It was sungguh humiliating!
the first question was, "How old are you?"
He was a Malay and looked young, so i bet he's still in his twenties.
"16?" Aku nye telinge da panas cm kimak nye panas cm wtf.
"Kau tahu tak aku boleh saman kau? And tadi, do you know that i can saman your boyfriend too?" Ooooh, boyfriend eh? In my dreams :(
He was nagging about shits and stuff, but i couldn't stop looking at them fucking mat-motor. Muke aku jatoh sepuluh kali rabak seh.
Tapi at least itu sundrem peh police let me go.
Phewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Mulut kakak betol peh masin siak.

Okay! Nak siap and jumpe Mel and Syida! :D

Thankyss Min for the pictures:)

2010-07-05T01:03:00.000-07:00

2010-07-04T07:39:00.000-07:00

Alaaa, boleh tak kalau aku fall in love with Ciki- Miki-Sangat-Nakal?

Baru cume 2 hari spent time like really spend time with each other, theres already alot of memories to be remembered. Aiyo, can it be worked out? Fuck. Mesti susah kan tengok dia at class and memories yang kite ade maen vividly kat fikiran? hehs.

2010-07-02T09:33:00.001-07:00

I THINK I LIKE MY CLASSMATE :0

2010-06-24T04:50:00.000-07:00

'Everyone deserves chances.
It's okay if you're not good with words, i understand you. '
Fuck that bullshit away.
Today friends, Alif proved and made me realise that i fell for a heartless jerk whom i only now realised how much of a bitch he was, and still is. If i ever see him outside after this, im so going to punch, kick, slap and do anything that requires violence, him. This i promise you. Im going to do that till he pleads me to stop, like a stupid animal. He made me looked like a freaking lunatic idiot crying and wailing and kicking and cursing alone at the pathway, thinking i was just overreacting! Well, fuck you, you manwhore! If you didn't assume i was going out with anyone else, THIS wouldn't have started. If you would have spared me some thoughts, I wouldn't be bitching about you!
How would you fucking feel if the fucking man you fuckingly love with all of your fucking heart, fuckingly walked away after fuckingly saying, "You jgn ckp i yg tglkan you eh!!" after you fucking accompanied him to the fucking clinic at his fucking neighbourhood with you feeling very fucking hungry and fuckingly tired with just a fucking $2 in her fucking pocket????!!!!!!!

FUCKING STUPID RIGHT?
I know.
I experienced it just now.

2010-06-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

Wow. is it a fashion to have a baby at a young age? I know quite of people my age da ade anak. Wtf? Lets imagine kalau aku wake up and found out yg aku pregnant.
I'll call up the father of my child, and ask to meet. Lepas tu, aku show the positive pregnancy kit to him, and break down to tears. Aku akan buntu, aku akan call Hany, for sure. Somehow i'll need to tell the news to Kakak, after which would slap my fuckened face, screaming at my ears, demanding to know who the busted is, and meet him. She would then tell Mama, who would for sure beats the hell out of me, and cry out of disappointment. Papa would disown me. If they accept the child, i would lead a messy misery.

That's why, it's better to stay out of sexual intercourse.
I know, 'look who's talking!'
Whatever, i've learnt the hard way, now, no sex until marriage:D

2010-06-19T05:41:00.000-07:00

Im really tired with the endless fights we would always fall into. Is it because of your ignorance, or is it always happen to be me being very hot-headed? You're always hurting me, listen! Im sick of crying! Im sick of hearing you apologizing, im sick of throwing vulgarities on you. Is it hard for you to listen what my heart is trying to tell you? Does it kill you to just listen? I am the lady, why must it be me always doing the hard thinking, and you there being a man just ordering your wants? You would never realize this, wouldn't you? I've always been at the verge of leaving everything, because sometimes i see it pointless and worthless for us to continue this "thing". Then again, i would stop, and come back to my senses, thinking everyone deserves chances. We're not even in a relationship, but we're constantly always losing. Im fed-up with your lies, and you're pissed with my actions. Isn't fair? :(

2010-06-17T04:07:00.000-07:00

I miss being in a relationship. when's the last eh? errr. who was it?! Oh, Addy? Yeah.
I miss crying, hugging and kissing over problems. I miss times when the boyfriend and i could spend hours together, tripping and falling in a daze. I miss long hours on the phone, giggling at every silly remarks the boyfriend and i would make. Am missing those moments that i could never get sick saying "I love you"(s), calling each other goofy names and be there for each other. i miss having my inbox filled with the boyfriend's name. i am yearning of them. But most of all, i am missing being in love.

2010-06-17T03:34:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so he's kinda like my boyfriend. Name's Rudy Youngblood, but i'd call him Dydy for short. Ain't he dashing? He has amazing talent, and he surely beats the hell out of me. Can't wait for the engagement uh kan. Zooomg, I am the lucky one girls. Envy me.

That's him in an award, i guess? Damn, those eyes that would make me weak in my knees.
That's him with the long hair. Hooooooooooot kan??

YEAAAP, THAT'S HIM AT APOCALYPTO.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, can go crazy over him siak. He looks like an effing Malay sia! Waduh waduh.memang boleh gila.

2010-06-15T08:11:00.000-07:00

I am verrry sexcited for the upcoming happenings in my dull life this week. tomorrow kaaaaan, aku ade date aku ade date aku ade date aku ade date! Aku ade date nan Aidil kat Waterfront. Yaaay!
Wan is going to vrooooom'ngg me on Saturday! Aduhh, miss him truckloads. i'll be hugging him verrry tightly until my titas hurt like hell once aku nampak dier. Baru ade umphhhhh! Hahhaha!
And Sundaay, omg Sunday, partaying at Tea Dance with The Girlsss. Wooots!
Mintak2 ini semue terjadi uh kaaaaan. Insyaallah!

Aku nak blog pasal Wan, The new boy(:
Mane aku kenal dier is verrry tk glamour langsong uh kan. Haha, i was very, and i repeat, verrry bored that i could even die from it that night. Internet is getting less entertaining eh? Palatuuutttol! Abeh aku cheeky monkey uh, went chatting at Alamak.com and made friends there. And thats when and where aku kenal dia. We met last monday, went to Cash Studio with his brothers, ate at Simpang Bedok and had the amazing time ever. And hell no, aku tk pandang langsong kalau dia bwk Super4 ke tidak eh, not like other girls who go for guys with bikes. He treats me with respect and concern, and gives the most and best attention that he could, now that's important. Aku happy dehh bila dia ngomong ngomong sama akuuuu.

And Aliff plak. Adoiii. Nta eh? Seeing him on last Sat was very delightful. He've changed gitu? As in not to worse uh, mcm lebih prihatin gitu. Omg larr, he was f.sweet&cute bile the Goodbye salam tradition. When he asked for a kiss, it was verrry polite. Hahahahha! Damn cute lah dia.

Aku contact balik dgn ex, Apull. *speechless*

seeing 3 men in a time sounds and definately seems very unroyal. Hessssshhzzxx, but i guess i shadn't give nor put hopes onto any of them.
[Fixing a distort heart takes a real man to do it]

Bestnya post panjang2, mcm dulu2. Haha, k bye nk tidurrr sihhhhhh.

2010-06-08T18:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight's going to be a GOOD GOOD night

2010-06-06T09:48:00.000-07:00

Work was a drag, i saw the irritating jerk which turns out to be the groom's relative-.-!
god, i cant stand biased humans! if i could sue them for causing favoritism siak! but probably that's just wonders of life uh kan.
blughh, my nose eh! ade byk hingus sia, beh nak breathe in pon susah abeh bile da sneeze kuat gile rabak, throat pulak ter-affected. NABEY!
I hate being sick!
after work, we went lepak at Andre's house, watching more of Annoying Orange, ate, smoke. OH! talking bout smoking,
tadikan, aku kat toilet, nak kluar, elbow aku terlanggar lighter Min, then the lighter terjatoh kat dlm toilet bowl.
irritating eh?
whats wrong with me and this habit called smoking?
since haritu siak!
haha!

everything else bores me, You're the game.

2010-06-05T01:16:00.000-07:00

Aku boring):
ptg baru go jogging nan kakak. Oh, kite plan nak singgah rumah nenek, all the way jalan. imagine from Marsiling drive to Woodlands 888 plaza eh, jalan sahaje. Boleh burn byk calories dok! I like!
Tadi kakak cooked Macaroni and goreng ayam. Haha! So much for wanting to lose weight!
(haizzzzzzzzzzz)
Im supa bored. What could i possibly do to kill time?
Tadi kan,aku smoked kat toilet tao, abehkan bile nak buang rokok pat toilet bowl, bara die kene paha aku):

2010-06-02T23:32:00.000-07:00

disappointed sia:(

2010-06-01T00:43:00.000-07:00

we bought clothes at Bugis Street and had our lunch at Victory restaurant. omg i totally saw Suhaila Salam with the camera-man and the acting crews filming sia at there!! suhaila salam looked very Japanese looking, with her bangs and perfect colour hair tone. i tried to contain my kiasu-ness when walking past them. hahaha! We had our shisha first at Pyramid. we had Redbull flavor, but not practically Redbull- redbull, as in redbull the can drink. its a mixture of 6 different flavors. it was sweet, and the quality of smoke produced was much better than Merdandy's or Reis'. since night was still young, the guys insisted on having another round of shisha, but in another cafe. so we searched the whole Arab street, and decided on the Gulf Beach because they sold buckets of Tiger at an affordable rate. it was boring. they weren't playing hip songs sia. but anyway, i wasn't having much fun coz i was too shagged and sleepy. boring sungguh!

Girls's night out!

2010-05-29T01:02:00.000-07:00

Be meeting Apuul later to lend him his jersey. He better be returning it to me sia! memories dok.
Midnight plak, be going out with Mum, kakak, Umi and kasya, we're going to have a splendid night out! :) ishh, tk sababrnye akuuuuuuuu!

"The best proof of love is trust." Joyce Brothers

2010-05-26T06:57:00.000-07:00

Cb sia Alif, apsal senyap siak? Fuckyou. Slalu pe kau kene buat aku binget? Slalu pe kau kene test aku nye patience? Kau keep asking me chances, and aku bodoh, slalu kene give in, tapi kerane ape jgak sia? Sebab aku tetap sayangkan kau. tapi kalau gini kau repay aku nan segale ape aku da korban untok kau? then why do i have to waste my breath, my thoughts,my life on you? fine, kau blg aku yg you're not the man with good words, but so?! if sepanjang hunbungan kite kau respect as love, why can't you change for me? for the better? dont come and hating on me if i've stop giving my share to the "love" k.
I've enough of this hurtful sensation that has been causing me lately, thanks to your ignorant attitude.
Nabey.

2010-05-22T23:09:00.000-07:00

MyHotComments

2010-05-02T00:33:00.000-07:00

-Obviously there are thons more photos in Facebook.

Shisha was exceptionally great!

2010-04-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

my life is not as exciting as yours:(

2010-04-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

sports day was da bomb!
got third position for cheer competition. unexpected siak!
we've got dry ice, we showcased capoiera and we Samba-ed.
:(((((((((((((((((((((((
but still i had the most enjoyable day ever in history.

We'll be watching you.

2010-04-17T22:39:00.000-07:00

We are the X- BOMBZ!
We're the new fish in town:)

new fish in town!

2010-04-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

x-bombzzzz saaaaaaak!
Hahahahahahhahaahhahahahahaha!

Surat.

2010-04-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

there is no more of me and him

no more of the memories

no more of what i have wished we could be doing,

that we could be spending time on,

no more of the jokes,

no more of the laughter

no more of everything i have secretly prayed for

Love made me blind,

made me not see the truth,

blind me from seeing the coarse part of life

why does love exist anyway?

since there aren't such things like 'forever' and 'love',

why does the feeling grow?

i have never thought i would ever say that i regret knowing you,

regret being your Girlfriend,

regret meeting you,

regret meeting your friends

regret doing what i've done just to be with you.

i thought i would never say that, never ever.

why start shits when you have doubts?

why start them when you have second thoughts?

why fucking start love when you're totally clueless about it?

love took me a fucking haggard journey and left me in a disgusting

piece.

yes, there may be tears

there may be cries,

but you don't know what a disastrous heart you've caused

i can't let them fond memories just fly away like that,

but this just way things are.

Seriously Addy,

you're causing million days to get my heart healed. i should have

known. the fake fuckity sayings~

Guys are the same, aren't they?

Fucking you with words of all they care,

not even minding what I would even think or feel.

i'm done with one fucking night,

i smoked continuously and got my throat burnt,

i cried and got my eyes swollen

oh, but what do you care eh?

if you think im one of your "gerek" friends that you like,
then im probably the most bitch of your enemies.

Take care,,

2010-04-09T06:24:00.000-07:00

my throat hurts. im cold. im hungry. im in pain.
are you there?
a text perhaps? but it seems you're forced like.
is there something wrong with us?
i sense a change in our relationship.

aku taknak cemburu buta, but i love you so much. aku nak believe everything kau cakap kat aku. and i mean everything Baby. that you promised this wouldn't be a waste. aku nak believe that sedalam-dalamnye.
im sorry if i hung up. i was just too caught up with my mood.
i wanna believe that we're always strong, that nothing could be ever compared than our love to each other. aku sayang kau so much kay?
Don't change and ruin the moment.

Hmph. Kau ingat kau mane peh suci sia?

2010-04-06T06:26:00.000-07:00

God Gracious!
YOU are worst than a HO.
posting sarcasms on my photos and such. i mean do i owe a fucking living to you?!
WTF much?
i've never intrude your affairs. so what's up with the bitchy comments lately?
So what if i don't play the role of a goody-goody two shoes daughter to Yusoff?
SO WHAT?!

THIS IS THE WAY I LEAD MY LIFE!
GOT A PROBLEM?
Oh, wait, i dont give a fuckity fuck if YOU have a problem with it.
Okay?

Hmph. Kau ingat kau mane peh suci sia?

Addy,

2010-04-03T23:17:00.000-07:00

Babe.
i miss you so much):

2010-04-02T09:51:00.000-07:00

Met Addy with his friends and slack. slack. slack. slack.
babi nye hujan, wasted $7 for an umbrella-_________________-
Mara kay aku, pusingpusing satu Paragon just for the stuff.
suke eh maenkan perasaan orang si weather nieh.

i dont know why, but i don't get tired saying "I love you" to Addy. Hehehehehehehehe!
Bestkan ade boyfriend~~,

2010-03-31T06:25:00.000-07:00

I AM ATTACHED TO HIM!
God, You've answered my prayers.
Amin.

2010-03-24T03:31:00.000-07:00

It's always about rhythmic posts. For once i'mma do typical bloggings.

Oh!
On last monday(?) i was disgustingly M O L E S T E D by a freaking shit Bangladeshi. i took the tunnel route to school, it's faster though i can't really point out the safety if you're alone. i was on my usual morning mood, all cheery and blossom-y. Hahaha. i was walking down the slope when i shrieked to see the Bangla, which obviously i thought was just a man nak otw balek rumah ke ape. We were both were stunned. I, because he startled me, and him, cause i screamed. I giggled and apologised. He said, "Ok-eihh, neverrrr mindd".
AND THEN KAN.
when aku tgh jalan, he mcm stop to give me way tao coz the slope is narrow and kecik. I tried to squeezed but WHAT HE DID?!
HIS FRONT FACED THE SIDE OF MY BODY, WHICH I COULD ACTUALLY FEEL HIS FUCKING COCK, AND THE BEST PART, HE EVEN TOOK THE CHANCE TO TOUCH MY FUCKING BOOTY!!
It took me seconds to realize i was being MOLESTED.
I cursed him, but he went off like nothing has happened.
Cb!
i wanted to report sia. But what could the police possibly do? Track him and that's it? Pfft! Siak ar, prangai mcm sial kay itu Bangla.
What a morning to start with-________-

ANYYYWAY.
homeworks and assignments are piling and im way behind. OMG rabaknyezz.
Mid year is like too soon.
Oh!!!
Im very ecstatic to be one of the award recipient siak untok Speech Day! Imagine me, a total chaotic airhead bitch who cares nothing but only Boys and Boys, being the first for FnN?! Hahaha. Kaychiooowww.

I wanna sleep and dream thousands of beautiful dreams.
I wanna sleep and only awake to be kissed by my Prince Charming.
Nak nak nak:(

2010-03-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

Wild conclusions leaving me unexpected answers.
Possibilities flashing, i see you going.
When is it going to stop?
Time has started to knock.
Why did it happen?
Gotta try breathing through the rain.
Telling them I have a man,
but love has it's end.
Is this for real?
Shall i wake up?
Or just be dreamy of the current empire?

2010-03-21T04:12:00.000-07:00

Hello hello kopi dan milooooooo:D

After the zoo trip, WHICH he didn't tag sebab bangon lambat-___- ,
i met him and the his friends at town with Min along.
it was great, as usual:D
hehe.

2010-03-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

Do i have what it takes to be with you?
i would rather pack and leave
i would rather have myself hurt
i would rather shut the world
than to see you in front of me
Shush me away,
tell me when you dont need me
so i wont be begging and fall
Knock and slash me
but dont love just to lie to me
dont text like you need me forever
go away if your harm is contagious
understand me when i dont respond
because this has got to stop,
if all of this is an act.

2010-03-17T06:52:00.004-07:00

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY:)))))))))))

Last night was G R E A T.

hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahahah!
okay cheeky kay aku.
i wanna braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag about it , so please kalaw mcm irritating, dont bother k:P
sooooooooo semalam Min, Ajun and me waited for Addy for like....... 15mins(?) at Bugis there. And trust me, i was like, *heart thumping,palms sweating*. i was checking out myself at the glass panel when Min told me,"Ika ika, kay dier yg pakai grey colour!: i turned and saaaaaaaaap, he was just behind me. AKU DA PAISEY SIOT, whatdya expect, first date uh kaaay. We walked constructively, with Min and Ajun at the front. It was a total silence siak! my face was tight with the fake smile i put on. talk about embarrassment! he broke the awkwardness with normal conversations and sorts. once we sampai Reis, i had the hujung-est seating and obviously expected Addy to sit beside me uh kan. Haha. And thank god he did:D we ordered Strawberry with a set and waited. and waited. sampai the Sheesha dtg. it was not long when all of us are chatting like a group of best friends. Addy was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fine uh kan! We played 'poking', tested whose eyes were bigger, tried how cats cough, made shits fun of the Gay group beside us............................ahhhhh, and sneak kisses. hehehehe! it was already late when Min insisted on another round of Sheesha. We had Grape then. Aduiiiiiiiiii! I was very on my cheekiest/happiest/goofiest mood ever laa.
Anywayy, it was the time to say goodbye. I hate separate ways:(

When i fell into your kisses,
the world shut,
the love it blossoms
When i fell into your eyes,
i see rainbows,
the butterflies they soar
Is this true?
Am i falling for you?

I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally hope he could make it to the Zoo trip.
hehs!

2010-03-15T00:17:00.000-07:00

Hey hey hey!
Drama performance was exhilarating! I know da siket outdated uh kan blog pasal Friday's and Sat's performances, but a big round of applause to my hectic weekends-__________-
There were those crying sessions, i cant believe yg April kite kene step down:(
And and yang the recent performances were my last. Aduiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
Really counting on my beloved juniors to hold on to the drama club to stay strong and on the top.
On the Saturday sebelom performance start, aku mcm sial screamed my ass out to them. Tension siot!
i dont know which to pursue next. Theater drama OR chef?
I really know that i wanna make a living out of my talent. But wasted sak aku punye 2 years of fuckish FnN. Tapiiiiiiiiiiiii, on the other hand, i loooooooove to watch cookery shows, mcm best gitu. Macam ajeee.
On the other hand yang lagi satu plak, aku nak amek Office Skill Course, coz later senang nak dapat keje. Which ONE siaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak?!
Okay, gotta put it aside, what's important, my focus should be on Ns. Harapharap uh kay dapat masok sec5 insyaallah

ANYYYwayyyyy.
Esok aku am meeting Addy!*evil grin*
Min, kau ajak siape siul?
Irritating eh "siul" aku.
Grr.
Hahaha! tak sabar nieh nak gy shesha nan beloved(s).
Hehe, cheeky sak ika.

Yaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Esok plak kan, Kasya is starting school!
Confirm ade banyak girlfriends dier nanty.
Popularnyeeee aku nanty kalau aku fetch kasya.
Kasya is a very pretty boy, just like his Aunt.(ehemehem!)
Hahahaha!

2010-03-10T06:35:00.000-08:00

It hurts me very much when i see all of you, my breathing souls, can't see each other eye to eye anymore. why do we, each and every one of us, fall to this situation? Always, i see. It's the final year for most of us, and i could assure you guys that we wouldn't be contacting much after all of us separated, to continue pursuing our next achievements. Why aren't we cherishing this precious moments when we already should? Wasting time to give faces? It's not worth it. Wasting time to pin-point each other? It's not worth the time. Yes, i've learnt MY mistakes after the ugly incident which caused serious issues that almost tore the group into two. history shouldn't be repeating twice. I hate it when my girls are always missing. Argh~!

Side track, i'm very delighted that tomorrow, IS PIT PEOPLE GET-TOGETHER-BACK day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay maybe not all coz Faris is working night shit i heard. but still, weee, this is exciting!
Andre is fetching me up and then we're going to lepak. (!!!!!!!!)

When We Used To Play 'Ghost Town'
:(

2010-02-24T06:13:00.000-08:00

Syaasya is a pigfly.

2010-02-24T03:54:00.000-08:00

Ya Allah.
Kasya just placed a rolled piece of paper on his mouth and the other hand with lighter.
Masyaallah.
Macam nak smoke kay.
Siak uh, can you believe it tak?!
He's just a year plus.
Mygod.
Macane dier tawu nieh!!!!

2010-02-23T04:05:00.000-08:00

It was a picture-perfect,
I couldnt deny
You complete my journey,
throughtout my life
You sang me pretty songs,
i stood there sensing no wrong,
For i thought of kissing you all day long
Yes, we fight and we cry,
But Baby that was the reason why
You took me by the heart,
and i never had to wonder high,
coz my heart it used to be everyday it glide.

Wasted the last few minutes on that during Geograpy test-______-
Must stop writting love sick sayings uh kan.
K bye.

2010-02-15T22:45:00.000-08:00

So Min and i decided to go sheesha yesterday at our usual's. Then malam i ditched Min and friends to meet Aliff(!!!!) at town with his friends. Sooorrrrryyy Min )))))

So Min, here are your pictures that you want
-___________________- // :::::::: ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

2010-02-11T06:34:00.000-08:00

Girls, i dont care what you think ,or what you do anymore.
But you will never stop bickering, wont you guys?
Tsk.
im sorry if you're tired of the hateful games we're playing, that's what we do best.
Irritating fuckshits.

-Shagged and masai.

2010-02-08T05:25:00.000-08:00

CIP on Saturday was very exciting. Though it tested our patience, i was awed with the bond my class has tightened:)
Aku cannot imagine this year would be the very last for me, as i know i couldn't pursue to the next level. Dulu, when kawan luar said "secondary life is the best", aku tk agree.
But now, it really touches me mcm how close kite nye class is. and aku akan cry 7 hari 7 malam the day we all graduate. couldn't imagine me being separated from Mr Sha's drama club and friends. haha.
Wait, why do i have to post such things sooo soon?
Hate being Attatched though.
Bye~.

2010-02-05T07:32:00.000-08:00

When I looked at all of you, i choked in disgust. I dont mind losing a friendship because i know we weren't going anywhere. We were more of strangers sharing tables during past recesses. Frankly, i spatted vulgarities at all of you, yes, just right after you guys walked away, instantly, anger had it. Ashamed to know that you guys even DARED brought sniffing glue to school. I was utterly disappointed that you guys chose to lead this kind of fucking life. Sorry? Too hard to be letting it go? Excuses.
God equalized us with a brain to think. Come on 16year-olds, think maturity. Too stress to kick the habit? Excuses.
I'm sorry for being the bitch. Why do i do this?
Because deep down in this shattered panes of heart, i still do care for all of you.

2010-02-04T05:10:00.001-08:00

I hate to be crying for friends who don't appreciate my well-being.
Thanks alot.

2010-01-29T03:37:00.000-08:00

It was CDP the last period, and we were discussing "Friends Are Friends Forever". The lesson stirred me. i buried my face on the pieces of papers, and sobbed uncontrollably.

TGIF!
(Thank God It's Friday!)
The week flew very quickly, dont i think so? Elnie came back yesterday for drama! Meetings of drama could never be the same without her. I've missed her laaaaaa! We played ice-breaking games and sorts. And the sec ones are very participative, thank God! Guess what? I hate Tuesdays. Wait, i dont hate Tuesdays, i just hate the fact that school ends at 4pm-____-" Just imagine, 9 hours of non-stop studying. Floorball was great this morning, screamed and ran like some crazyclutzybitch.on the loose! Maths then was O-K-A-Y too, naseb aku faham and could do my homeworks. There was this point of time, like maybe 3 days ago?, when aku totally da at the highest peak of giving up tao, then sekali, i told and assured myself, i could do it, and not be so silly to do such decisions, and i keep thinking of getting into the course i really wanted to. Then, i gather my courage, and pooof~! Aku concentrated back what was I doing. hahaha~, apa yang kelakar siaaa?
Syasya was different today, her eyes were bawling red. Just hope that she skonws what she's doing laa. My girls.

, bye~ nak call Boypreeen!

2010-01-28T07:20:00.000-08:00

Since the new system has stated we could directly go higher-nitec after Ns, I'm very determined to pass my Math especially. But obviously there are always criteria here and there. I've been doing home-works regularly, and im pretty proud of myself:D
Never in my secondary life i was so courteous in studies. *Gives pat on the shoulders*
Big deal you know.
Really going to work my ass out so i could qualify for the Business Administration next year. *fingers crossed*
HAHA! wow, fikir amat jaoh eh aku.

bye~